Worse week in life
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I'm sorry if I end up posting twice I found this site in the night and I can't remember if I posted already.
we are a week from the knock, 20 year old autistic son, all devices taken and now sent off. Due to start 2nd year of uni tomorrow.
no idea what to do, does he go or not. He's swears he has no child images but we have discovered he's into porn and we are worried he's not realised the severity of the images he's looked at. Trying to get him to see he's been so court up with online people and this has influenced his judgement. Want to find some therapy for him to be able to talk these feeling and help him understand what he's watching is not normal or right but no idea where to go. It's so hard reading and seeing this is going to take a long time to sort, got to try and find a new normal I guess constantly worried about the knock on the door or my phone ringing.
we are a week from the knock, 20 year old autistic son, all devices taken and now sent off. Due to start 2nd year of uni tomorrow.
no idea what to do, does he go or not. He's swears he has no child images but we have discovered he's into porn and we are worried he's not realised the severity of the images he's looked at. Trying to get him to see he's been so court up with online people and this has influenced his judgement. Want to find some therapy for him to be able to talk these feeling and help him understand what he's watching is not normal or right but no idea where to go. It's so hard reading and seeing this is going to take a long time to sort, got to try and find a new normal I guess constantly worried about the knock on the door or my phone ringing.
It will be necessary to read the Universities policy first, to find out if this is covered in their student conduct rules for example.
StopSo is a good place to contact for therapy.
StopSo is a good place to contact for therapy.
Your post was basically me at the start of this journey. Depending on the course I would absolutely tell him to go back, I was in exactly the same situation and he has since completed his course and we are still none the wiser as to the outcome of the investigation. As long as what he is studying doesn't require an enhanced DBS he should be fine as he hasn't yet been charged with anything. If my person hadn't gone back he would have had nothing to distract him, he'd have been sat in his room too scared to get a job, not wanting to go out with friends and just getting more isolated and depressed. It is a very long road ahead especially with the prospect of putting your life on hold for the next 2 years. He could always drop out if it gets too much. There are a lot of us here with young adults so you will find lots of support. The helpline is also great for you both.
Hi Mumfells,
You son should absolutely go back to college. This thing could go on for a long time and nobody know what the outcome may be. He has to keep going. I think one of the things we can do for our sons is to keep trying to live as normal a life as possible.
We all feel your pain, know that you are not alone in this.
You son should absolutely go back to college. This thing could go on for a long time and nobody know what the outcome may be. He has to keep going. I think one of the things we can do for our sons is to keep trying to live as normal a life as possible.
We all feel your pain, know that you are not alone in this.
Thanks for the replies, well he went back to uni, was the best choice for now. He had a session with a practitioner from Safer Lives this week and that went really well, she also said get back to uni too.
Everything else quiet, nothing from solicitors so guess they have nothing to report from police, i mean why would they it's only been a couple of weeks. It's like it's the first part of their punishment, the endless waiting with no news.
young person is coping well all things considered, me and his dad not so much. We both fell apart and ended up at doctors getting prescribed tablets for anxiety and offered CBT therapy to talk to someone. Hating this and hating feeling so helpless and blaming myself ..... thanks for your support
Everything else quiet, nothing from solicitors so guess they have nothing to report from police, i mean why would they it's only been a couple of weeks. It's like it's the first part of their punishment, the endless waiting with no news.
young person is coping well all things considered, me and his dad not so much. We both fell apart and ended up at doctors getting prescribed tablets for anxiety and offered CBT therapy to talk to someone. Hating this and hating feeling so helpless and blaming myself ..... thanks for your support
I'm glad he went back and I'm glad you have managed to speak to a doctor and get support for you both. You probably won't hear from solicitors until you are getting near to each bail date just so they can basically tell you its being extended. Make sure you reach out whenever you need, you aren't alone x
Hi, so glad he has gone back... you and your husband just need to take time together and process the situation (easier said than done) in the first couple of weeks both myself and my wife considered the wrong option...there is a long way to go with this and there are ups and downs... please... just support each other in the meantime... l honestly don't know what the future holds in a time when we should be loooking to enjoy life.. but he is our son.. he is our life.. we will support him and the future is uncertain.. take care
Also mum of non diagnose autism son but trying to get help but he has learning difficulties I feel you pain
waiting to see what happens next with it all feel so helpless
waiting to see what happens next with it all feel so helpless