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Can i speak to my husbands solicitor

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Vikter

Member since
August 2019

21 posts

Posted Thu October 24, 2019 11:14pmReport post

I'm needing to find out if I can speak to husbands solicitor to find out what he's done as I believe he's not telling me everything I seem to be getting told lies and new info of things keeps coming that he has denied I am desperately trying to find out exactly what's occurred will his solicitor speak to me about him

snowdrop

Member since
September 2019

178 posts

Posted Thu October 24, 2019 11:47pmReport post

Hi

I don't know if he needs to give his permission however, one of the things I insisted on was me speaking 'a lone' with his solicitor if we were to stay together. It wasn't just about the truth or any lies... I simply wanted to ask questions without him being present and satisfy my own concerns.

The meeting was invaluable... It made sense of how stupid and reckless he had been but also revealed that he was not a bad person or a danger. We are still together... Its tough but having the meeting one to one definitely saved our marriage.

My advice is give him an ultimatum... Allow you to speak with his solicitor on your own or our relationship is over.

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

450 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2019 11:33amReport post

Hi

You will need his permission the same with the police, all due to data protection laws!.

My husband did the same, lied and lied and u only found the truth when I went to court when he was sentenced!!

Are you still with your husband? If you are tell him in order for this to work you need to know!!

Good luck xx

Vikter

Member since
August 2019

21 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2019 12:26pmReport post

Hi thanks for your responses yes I am still with him at the moment but finding out thing he's denied at the beginning and is now slipping telling me he did in fact do some things he denied I haven't spoken to him about these yet he keeps clamming up think he thinks if he tells me it will hurt me more but I'm hurting more with the lies and hiding things so think I'll speak with him about going to see his solicitor x

Vikter

Member since
August 2019

21 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2019 12:35pmReport post

Haven't hear anything except from the procurator and fiscal (think that's what it's called) asking me to provide a statement????? I've no idea what they want and we haven't heard any thing for 5 months now have had sell our family home and move into rented house nor have we heard anything about the devises the police took I'm not even sure if they would of been informed we have moved he's told his solicitor and the court knows the change of address but just feel I'm kept in the dark about everything all I know is a few things my husband gas told me yet my gut feeling is there's more to this I have read there are categories for this nature on here so I asked him about this and he said all 3 again I've no idea what this even means hes never spoke again about it I've phoned help line stop it now but don't seem to be getting anywhere is there anyone else I can go to to find out what any of this means or will his solicitor be able to give me this info and as to what it all means sorry for long post and again I do thank you for responding even thou you are going through the same issues its an awful thing we are all going through sending big hugs to you all xxx

snowdrop

Member since
September 2019

178 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2019 1:30pmReport post

Hi...

You must get to speak with his solicitor... He will definitely know most if not all of what he's been accused of and evidence found. As for categories... If he has stated all three they are A... Any penetrative act by an animal.. human or sex toy.. B.. Any sexual act not including those associated with A... Finally C.. Which is sexual posing partially clothed or naked.

Booboo

Member since
September 2018

22 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2019 3:01pmReport post

Hi vikter, so sorry to read your post that you are struggling so much, it's an awful situation, I see from previous post and that you mentioned the procurator fiscal that you are 8n Scotland, I am also in Scotland and my husband has offended twice 1st 9 yrs ago 2nd knock was in 2018, with your husbands permission you can talk to his solicitor, do you have a investigation officer from the police assigned? As they can be a source of information I am on mumsnet as snookieboo if you want to message directly,

The fiscal office will ask for a statement as they did from me and my oldest son as we were called as witnesses for the prosecution ????. Thankfully my husband pled guilty so it didn't go to trial xx

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

450 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2019 4:12pmReport post

Hi

There are 3 categories

Cat A is the worse one and is penitration of a minor, bestiality

Cat B is any other sex acts apart from penitration

Cat C is nude photos/images etc

They can also charge with pain and distress caused to the children which will mean they are very young children involved

There can also be videos in all categories

I hope I've got that right but I'm sure someone can put me right if not

Not a nice thought, none of it but I hope it makes things a little clearer.

CornishTea

Member since
August 2019

91 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2019 6:36pmReport post

Hi Vikter,



So sorry that you find yourself in this situation. It is awful and obviously is made far worse as you haven't been given any information from your husband.

You will need your husband's permission to speak to his solicitor. If he is reluctant to give you permission then I would see that as a red flag to be honest. Whilst I know they are unpleasant conversations I would expect your husband to be upfront about what is being alleged. At least if you have all the facts you can then make an informed decision.




Cornish Tea xx

WorriedMum

Member since
July 2019

37 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2019 8:36pmReport post

Booboo... What was your husband's sentence please? As his first offence was a long time ago, how much was it taken into account? Did you stay with him? Im in a similar situation

Booboo

Member since
September 2018

22 posts

Posted Fri October 25, 2019 9:01pmReport post

Warrioress I have sent you a quick message on mumsnet

His 1st sentence was 1 Yr custodial of which he did 6 months and an extended licence of 3 yrs

2nd sentence was of 16 months custodial of which he served 8 mths and has a long term sopo